


i waste all this time trying to run from you

by catwaffles



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5367719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catwaffles/pseuds/catwaffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura is dissatisfied with her relationship, and she needs an escape route. That's where Carmilla comes in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from Not Today by Twenty One Pilots

Your father warned you about the annual Styria Winter Fair. He told you the stories about the junkies running the rides, and how they travelled with the rides as if it was all a big circus. He said if you listen closely you can hear the sound of all of the nuts and bolts slowly making their way out of their spots in the ride structures, inching closer and closer to the collapse of the ride.

He lectured you on just about everything that might go wrong if you go to the fair, even if they were just old myths. You listened to him, but you’ve never heard of anything bad happening, so you choose to not worry about his warnings.

Danny invited you out to go to the fair this year, and you couldn’t pass down the opportunity; you’ve been turning down all of her date proposals for the past month. Your only excuses were that you had an assignment due, or that you just weren’t feeling it.

You like Danny, you really do, but you can’t help feel the one-sidedness of your relationship with her. Danny loves you to death; she would do anything for you, and you would do the same for her, but what you feel for Danny is a platonic love. You know that you should have let her know what you’re feeling when you found out, but you were already three months into an amazing relationship. Now you’re five months in and you’re just beating around the bush.

You met Danny at a science fair that your friend, LaFontaine, dragged you to. They had their own science project that they were showing off, and they wanted some moral support from you, so they asked you to come with. You happily obliged, you love supporting their passion for science. Danny was at the science fair; you found her when you were walking around looking at others’ projects. You can’t remember what her project was about because you were far to intrigued by the girl standing beside it.

You started asking questions about her project, but not long into the conversation you started asking about her. You did eventually get her number, and things progressed from there.

It was three months into the relationship when Danny began talking about starting a family, and getting married, that’s when it hit you like a truck; you couldn’t ever reciprocate these feelings.

Of course you never spoke up about your discovery, and now here you stand, with her, in line for the ferris wheel at the annual Styria Winter Fair.

Danny puts a hand on your right shoulder and turns you so you’re facing her when she asks, “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

“No, no absolutely not afraid of heights at all! Nope!” Your voice is engulfed as you attempt to hide your face in your scarf.

You know very well that you are not fond of heights, and you know what getting on the ferris wheel entails.

“Laura,” she leans in close to your face and her nose brushes up against yours, “if you’re going to be uncomfortable on the ride then we can go on another ride. Or we could even go to one of the vendors and I can win you a big stuffed bear.”

Danny tries her best to sympathize with you, but you aren’t going to back down, “no, I want to go on this ride. Despite my dad warning me of the dangers of almost everything in this park, he did say that the ferris wheel was quite the ride.”

“Awesome,” Danny’s face lifts in a wide grin and she jumps a little bit in her spot.

You give a small smile back, even though you can feel the nervous butterflies fluttering about in your stomach.

You readjust your beanie as you move forward in the line, and now you’re at the front, so you’ll be the next to get on the ride after it goes around.

“The last time I was here I was only nine years old,” Danny beams, “and it feels so exciting to be back.”

“Well, everything is much bigger now isn’t it? You can ride all the rides now, too.”

“This is true,” Danny laughs, “but I’m also too tall for some rides.”

You lightly shove Danny’s shoulder and fake an offended tone, “Yeah, and I’m still too short for some of the rides, so I think you can deal with it.”

Danny takes you seriously and a frown covers her face, but before she can say anything the ride operator speaks up, “Y’all are up next.”

He opens the gate for you and Danny to step up into the ferris wheel seat. Danny gets in first and you get in beside her.

You have to admit that you’re quite looking forward to getting to the top of the ferris wheel and looking at the stars, even though your fear of heights is telling you this is a bad, bad idea.

As you settle in next to Danny, you feel someone sit in the empty space on the seat to your right and you look over to them. You forgot it was three people to a seat.

“Whoa, cupcake, I can take another seat if you’re that deterred by me sitting here,” the girl beside you offers, gesturing towards the look you must have on your face.

You didn’t intentionally give her a mean look; you just weren’t expecting her to sit down beside you. And her being, well, _her_ , made this situation no better.

This girl is beyond beautiful. Her hair is dark and wavy, and it’s gracefully falling down onto her shoulders from under a dark coloured beanie. Her beanie reads: ‘bad hair day’, but you can’t help but disagree with it.

“Wait, what? Why is she in the seat with us?” Danny leans forward and looks at the girl sitting to your right.

“All right, Xena, calm down. I’ll get out of this seat and wait for the next if you really want time alone with little creampuff here,” the girl raises her hands in defence and starts to get up and out of the ride, but the handrail slams down and she’s forced back into the seat.

“Are you kidding me? No, she can’t sit here, get her out of the seat,” Danny starts to raise her voice at the ride operator.

The operator just shrugs his shoulders at her and pushes some buttons on his control panel to start the ferris wheel on its cycle.

Danny very noticeably sighs and thumps back down into the seat, rocking it back and forth.

You brace yourself at movement of the seat, and your knuckles become white when you grasp at the handrail.

“Danny, I know I decided to go on the ride, but would you please refrain from shaking the seat,” you say with both of your hands still firmly grasping the handrail in front of you.

Danny takes in what she just did and quickly leans in to embrace you, whispering an apology into your ear, “Laura, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking.”

You nudge her away and slide out of her arms, “Its fine,” you cross your arms, “just don’t do it again.”

You let out somewhat of an exasperated huff, take your grip off of the handrail and cross your arms across your chest.

“Well, I’m still here, yeah? So, try not to get into a fight or anything,” the girl beside you pipes up in with a raspy voice.

“We won’t be fighting, don’t worry,” you pause, waiting for the girl to give you her name.

“Carmilla.”

“Well, Carmilla, Laura and I are on good terms, so mind your own business,” Danny butts in and informs Carmilla in a rather snobby, know-it-all tone.

“Whatever you say, Clifford.”

You can’t help but let out a small giggle; you think this girl is intriguing to say the least.

“What are you getting at, huh? And why do you have to use these nicknames?” Danny is getting infuriated with Carmilla.

Carmilla looks at you with wide eyes and raises one eyebrow. You try and hold back a laugh but before you can stop yourself you’re already laughing out loud.

A look of hurt comes over Danny’s face when she notices you’re laughing, “Seriously, Laura? Are you siding with her?”

“No, I’m not siding with anyone,” you defend.

The ride creaks to a stop and they’re sitting halfway to the top of the ferris wheel.

“Well, looks like we have about 10 more stops on this ferris wheel, so you two better work out your problems now, or it is going to be one long ride,” Carmilla states matter-of-fact.

“Yeah, whatever, Carmilla. You’re no love expert, I don’t have to listen to you,” Danny leans back in the seat again, and once more, it shakes it back and forth.

“Guys can we not-“

You’re abruptly cut off by Carmilla’s comeback, “Oh really? Then how do I know that your girlfriend isn’t having a good time here with you?”

Danny opens her mouth to respond, but all that comes out of her is a disappointed scoff.

She looks at you, awaiting an explanation, or some way that you could prove Carmilla wrong.

You can't prove her wrong because you know you're not having a good time. You don't want to lie to Danny, but maybe it's time she knew what's been going on inside your head.

"Look, Danny, I could be having a better time is all," you cowardly say, avoiding eye contact with her.

Danny is silent for what feels like hours. She won't even budge.

As the ferris wheel moves one more space you notice you're now at the very top of the ride. You do not dare to look down because you know it would only make this situation worse for you.

You feel regret boiling in the pit of your stomach; you know you really shouldn't have said anything, but Carmilla left you with the perfect opportunity.

"Laura," Danny drawls out. "What are you saying? We didn't have to go on the ferris wheel if that's what you mean."

You let out a big sigh and watch as your breath goes out into the cold night air, "Danny," you pause, "I'm just not having a good time at all. Like, with you, in a relationship."

There's no turning back now.

The ride creaks and brings down your seat so it's halfway down the ferris wheel. You can't help but be grateful the ride is almost over; you want off this ride so you can talk to Danny alone. Or better yet, not have to talk to Danny at all.

"Well, well, look who was right," Carmilla announces with a hint of pride in her tone.

"This is your fault, you fucking bitch," Danny yells at Carmilla, simulataneously jerking forward and rocking the seat.

You don't grasp the handrail this time, for you know the ride will be over soon, and you don't want to get in the middle of whatever argument was happening between Danny and Carmilla.

"Oh, but is it _really_ my fault? Maybe your girlfriend here was just waiting for that perfect opportunity to tell you she's over you," Carmilla harshly lets out.

You don't know how this got here, but you're almost thankful that Carmilla is doing most of the talking.

"Laura, tell me Carmilla is not right," you can hear the crack in Danny's voice. "Please tell me you still love me."

You do love her, you do, but not the way she loves you.

"Danny, I do love you, bu-"

"Oh, thank god," Danny's face lights up and you swear you've never seen her so happy.

She leans in to wrap her arms around you, but you stop her before she can.

"I love you, but not like _that_."

You feel like the temperature just dropped ten degrees, as if you have left your body.

You don't hear what Danny says to you after that. Carmilla pipes up and spits something out too, but you don't hear it. You feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, but you feel the inevitability of the consequences creeping up.

You want to thank this beautiful stranger who apparently has no filter; Carmilla pretty much did all the talking for you, and she doesn't even know you.

You're grateful and at the same time you're plagued with guilt.

You remember the first time you and Danny shared I-love-yous. You were at the movie theatre seeing some sappy romantic movie with her; she wanted to bring you here on your third official date and you were incredibly happy to oblige. When the movie ended you stood outside the theatre entrance with her and kissed her goodnight, and then she told you she loved you. You said it back because you were in the moment, and nothing else mattered.

You remember all of your firsts with her; even in the five months of dating you experienced a great amount of your very own firsts with her.

She took you to the zoo for the first time in your life, she got chicken pox and she stayed with you the whole time, you made her come with you to get your wisdom teeth out, and of course, you had your first time with her, which you don't regret at all.

You were a fool who thought you were head over heels in love with this girl.

"Are you even listening, Laura?" Danny's shrill voice pulls you from your reminiscing.

You open your mouth to respond but the handrail is lifted up as you're all ushered out of the seat and back onto the grounds of the fair.

You both scurry to the side to get out of the way of the ferris wheel entrance.

"You know what, I'll talk to you later, I need to clear my head and think about things," Danny doesn't look straight at you when she tells you; her eyes are wandering the fair around them.

"Danny, we can-"

"No, I don't want to talk now, not here," Danny finally makes eye contact with you, but swiftly pivots around on her left foot and walks away through the crowd of fair-goers.

Your shoulders slump back and you're relieved that she didn't decide to have it out with you right now. You feel horrible for feeling so relieved. You just really don’t want to deal with her when you get home tonight.

You shove your hands into your jacket pockets and trudge across the grounds, and through the vendors before you reach an empty bench away from the crowd. The bench is cold, and lonely, and even a little damp, but you figure you deserve it after what you’ve done.

“Rough end?” You snap your head around to the voice coming from behind you.

It’s Carmilla, of course it is.

You finally get a good look at the girl; it was far too dim up on the ferris wheel seat to see her in full light. She’s wearing nearly all black; she has on leather pants, sneakers, a leather jacket, a red flannel shirt and a band shirt underneath.

If you had to pick one word to describe her it would be broody, or mysterious. But she’s oh so intriguing to you.

You know you’re staring, and you know she knows you’re staring too, but you don’t care; you’re kind of in the moment right now.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Carmilla breaks the silence and replies to your eager stare with a slick comment and a light chuckle.

You look away from her with a smile plastered on your face and she takes a seat beside you on the bench. You can feel a blush rush to your cheeks and it almost warms you up.

“You know, your girlfriend there seemed a little bit, uh,” she pauses to find her words. “Protective.”

“Yeah, Danny can be really territorial sometimes,” you say while still avoiding the other girls gaze.

Carmilla slides over a little closer to you and you can feel the warmth radiating from her body.

You finally look over at her and lock your eyes with hers, “Thanks,” you give her a weak smile. “For what you did up there. I sure as hell wouldn’t have had the courage to confess it.”

“It’s no problem, cutie.”

“But how did you know how I was feeling?” You wonder.

Carmilla looks out into the night and takes her time to answer you.

You think she’s really beautiful under the light of the moon and the stars.

“I watched you when you were waiting in line, you were uncomfortable. You didn’t laugh at any of her jokes, and your eyes were always wandering off somewhere else,” she waits until you look at her to continue. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised the ginger giant didn’t catch on already.”

You lean back and your back hits the bench; she’s right. You were showing signs of being disinterested all night, but Danny was clueless. You should have been more assertive in your actions.

“Danny deserves better than me,” you drop you head into your scarf and your words become muffled. “I love her as a friend, and nothing more. I can’t give her what she wants from me anymore.”

Saying the words out loud feels great, but knowing that Danny is somewhere out there just jumbled in her thoughts is troubling for her.

“I really should go find Danny before she does something stupid.”

You don’t want to leave your spot on this bench, your spot beside Carmilla.

“You should probably go find her, and make sure she doesn’t stomp all over the little kids in the fair,” Carmilla says nonchalantly.

You untuck your arm from your crossed arms and nudge her in her side. You have to admit it was kind of funny, though.

Carmilla gets up off of the bench and starts to walk away, but you hastily get up and grab her arm to pull her back towards you. You accidentally pull her closer to you than intended and your faces are within close proximity to each other. Her eyes are mesmerizing, yet dark, and puzzling. You can’t stop looking into her eyes, and you can’t stop your eyes from wandering down to her lips.

You snap out of your daze when a loose child runs past the two of you, yelling and screaming.

You stammer out an apology and step back from her personal space.

“Thanks, again,” you stutter, and look everywhere but at her.

“No problem, Laura.”

Your head shoots up at the sound of your name leaving her lips, but she’s already walking away.

Everything inside of you wants to call out her name, and run up to her and stop her from walking away.

But it’s too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do have plans for another chapter. any feedback would be great to hear!
> 
> i'm guilty for all the mistakes, as i do not have a beta


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had some trouble uploading this chapter, so you may have already read this chapter. or the end notes of both chapters might both be at the end of chapter two. or there might be other technical difficulties that i'm unaware of.

It took you nearly four hours of fighting and crying to sort things out with Danny that night.

You found her sitting somberly in one the carts of the mini train track ride in the far corner of the fair. This corner of the fair was unoccupied, and dark; you’re not surprised this is where you found her. You tried for what seemed like an hour just explaining things to a wall because Danny wouldn’t respond to you, or even look at you. When she did eventually answer your many attempts to get her to speak, she went straight to the yelling. You don’t remember much of it, really; you kind of blocked it all out when she started lashing out. Danny left first and you were the one left sitting in silence. You had time to think, but you just sat there until someone told you to go home because they thought you were drunk.

It took you one week to move out of your apartment and ultimately remove yourself from her life.

Danny insisted that she keep the apartment, because it was hers in the first place. You couldn’t argue with her on that, but you were troubled with the fact that she got to keep your cat, and all of the cacti plants. She said she deserves it for what you did, or something like that, you can’t remember. You moved all of your stuff in with your dad, and you hope that this living arrangement with him will be short-lived.

It took you two weeks to decide to return to the fair.

You made it a goal to go to the ferris wheel at the end of the night. You want to see Carmilla again, so you figure going back to the ferris wheel will be your best shot at catching her again.

You aren’t ashamed to admit that she’s what pulled you here again. She left you that night on a good note, and you’re fascinated by everything about her. You wish you could just sit down in some café with her and ask as many questions as you can imagine.

Despite having only been around Carmilla for maybe half an hour all together, you miss the nicknames she gave you. Cupcake was your favourite.

You’ve been searching the fair grounds for the girl all night. You’ve been around and through the vendors at least twice already. Most of the rides have already closed down, and your cup of hot chocolate has been empty for the past forty minutes.

You pass by the booth with the big bear prize once more. You stop in front of it and think about what Danny told you when you were in line for the ferris wheel. She told you she could win you that bear if you were too afraid to go on the ferris wheel. You almost regret not letting her get it for you anyways, but you know all too well that you could easily get that bear yourself. Or, that’s what you think, at least.

You toss your empty cup into the trash bin and walk up to the big bear booth. It’s a ring toss game, which you’ve never played before, but you figure your Krav Maga skills may come in handy. Maybe.

“Step right up! Two dollars per play, or five dollars for three plays!”

You rummage around in your pocket and pull out two dollars in bills to hand it to the man standing behind the booth. He gives you a peculiar look.

“You sure you want to do this, missy? Ya don’t look to be very capable to be doing this here.”

Your jaw drops at the words that he said. And not to mention his horrible English. You're not intimidated by him in the slightest. You just can’t believe that he would say that to you, especially in front of all of the people around this booth.

You hear murmurs from some of the people around you, some in defense of you, and some agreeing with the man and making a note of your small size.

You contemplate laying low, but instead you decide to speak up and defend yourself, “I am perfectly fine to be-“You’re cut off when you feel someone put an arm around your shoulder and come up beside you.

“I could ask you the same thing, buddy. You’re just some old and frail man running this stupid booth.”

You recognize the voice immediately. Maybe you recognized the smell of her perfume first, but you can’t tell; it all happened so suddenly.

“She is more than capable to play this game,” Carmilla looks at you. “Aren’t you, cupcake?”

You know you should answer her, but you’re too caught up with just looking at her.

She’s here. She’s back. She’s standing in front of you and you’re making a fool of yourself.

“Y-yes, I am completely capable,” the words stumble out of your mouth and you’re not even sure that they came out in the right order.

The man hands you the rings without any hesitance and you take them in your hand.

Carmilla pulls you off to the side for a second.

“Hey, cutie. Didn’t expect to see you back after that hell of a night.”

“Well, I came back to get this giant stuffed bear for myself,” you blatantly lie and a smirk crawls up onto her face.

“Oh I’m sure you did. I can show you the best, and only way to get that bear.”

“Oh really? And it won’t include anything illegal, will it?” You tease her.

“Of course not. I wouldn’t dare ruin your reputation.”

You open your mouth to send back another sarcastic response, but you just cross your arms and you can’t stop a wide grin from creeping up onto your face.

Carmilla leans in close and takes a few steps towards you; your bodies are flush up against each other now. She positions herself behind you and spins you around so you can both see the booth.

“Step one, you start throwing the rings. Then, I’ll walk up to the booth and start talking to the crotchety old guy. While I’m doing that, and while he’s distracted, you snatch the bear and make a run for it.” She tells you as she points to spots at the booth.

You’re dumbfounded by Carmilla’s boldness. You nudge her arm; there’s no way she’s serious. “Very funny, Carmilla.”

“No, no, I’m serious.”

You stand up straight and turn around to glare at her with a piercing stare.

“All these damn booths are rigged anyways. Don’t worry about it.” She puts an arm on your shoulder as if to reassure you.

“Are you seriously-“before you can say the rest of what you want to say Carmilla is already dragging you by your arm back towards the booth.

“It’s go time, cutie.”

Well, you can’t resist the look on her face, so you position yourself in front of the booth and start throwing your rings.

All of your rings miss the bottles, but you’re blaming that on the pure stress you are under right now.

Okay, so maybe you were wrong about your Krav Maga classes being able to help you in this situation, and maybe you weren't actually entirely capable of playing this game successfully.

You can hear Carmilla scolding the old man for what he said to you earlier at the other side of the booth. You feel honoured that Carmilla would defend you even though you’re essentially strangers. It’s almost heartwarming.

You’re on your last ring throw by the time Carmilla winks at you from across the booth and you take that as a signal to snatch the bear.

The stuffed bear is just to your left, sitting on the booth counter. You look around for other people. There’s a family that’s finishing up their rings. They don’t win anything, too bad.

Once they’re gone, you take up the bear in your arms and, discreetly as you can, run away from the booth.

You run until you get to one of the closed booths and you hide behind it just enough that you can still see Carmilla.

You wait a minute or two until she starts to scurry over to you. You think she looks beautiful as she walks over to you.

She stops in front of you and has to catch her breath for a second.

“This isn’t suspicious or anything, no,” you say, clearly expressing your worry of getting caught.

“Look,” she takes a deep breath and points at the booth they were just at. “The old geezer hasn’t even noticed it’s gone yet. Or if he has he just doesn’t give a rat’s ass.”

You try to give her the bear to carry, but she’s reluctant to take it from you.

“This is for you, not for me. I’ll carry it for now, but you’re going home with it.”

You’d rather go home with her.

She takes the bear from your arms and wraps her own around it.

She should ditch the bear and just wrap her arms around you instead.

“You know,” her voice is muffled behind the great expanse of the bear, so she readjusts herself. “This would have been a whole a lot easier if you had just wanted the smaller bear.”

“Well, what kind of romantic gesture would a small bear have been?” Your cheeks flush as the words spill out of your mouth. That was unintentional, but somehow you don't regret it.

"Ohh, romantic gesture? Is that was this is?" She teases you.

"I-I meant-"

"Don't worry, cupcake, I get it."

She puts you at ease.

You walk with her in a nice silence for a few minutes. You don't notice until you lift your head up that you're approaching the ferris wheel.

The ferris wheel represents something for you now, something big. But you can't tell if that something was breaking up with Danny, or meeting Carmilla. Maybe it was both, and you were just turning over a new leaf on that ferris wheel.

What if that ferris wheel was your escape route? Or maybe it was just Carmilla that was your escape route.

Either way, you feel inclined to ride it one more time.

You look up at the sky and you see a blanket of stars. You're grateful; the stars really set a certain mood.

"Hey," you slow your pace to a stop and look up at the ferris wheel. "Do you wanna ride the ferris wheel?"

"Are you sure you want to go back up there after what happened last time?" Carmilla is truly considerate of your feelings.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It doesn't hold all bad memories for me," you shoot her a smile with a wink and walk ahead of her towards the ferris wheel line.

You notice Carmilla stand in her spot for a moment after you wink at her, but she snaps out of her daze and she's quick to catch up with you.

There's only a few people in the line to ferris wheel, you won’t have to wait very long to get on.

“Who would of thought that I’d be here again standing beside you instead of Danny?” You ask yourself, mostly, but Carmilla looks at you and quirks her head to the side.

“What, would you rather be here with her?”

“No!” You don’t mean to raise your voice at her, but you want her to know that you are definitely here for her, not Danny. “I mean, no, I don’t want to be here with her. I’m glad to be here with you instead.”

Carmilla’s face lights up like you’ve never seen before.

“You mean that, creampuff?”

“I do. After all, you were the one to confess _my_ feelings to Danny,” you pause and bashfully look down at your shoes. “You were the one that helped me escape.”

Carmilla can’t stand still anymore and you take that as a good sign. Maybe she’s flattered.

“Well, I am irresistible, aren’t I?” Carmilla confidently boasts.

You know she’s right, like, really right. She is irresistible in the best possible way. You think of something to say back to her, but you’re already at the front of the line, and the cart is open for you two to get in.

Carmilla sticks out a hand for you to sit down first, “Ladies first.”

She’s chivalrous too; if you weren’t already impressed enough, you’re even more impressed now.

You slide into the far left hand side of the cart and she slides in next to you. She puts the bear to her right and sits it up straight. The handrail slams down and the carts start to move.

“Who knew I’d be on a ferris wheel and sitting between the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and a giant stuffed bear,” Carmilla says.

You’re flattered to say the least. “Oh, why thank you, Carmilla,” you say with a little too much confidence.

“Oh you thought I was talking about you? No, no. You’re the bear, not the girl.”

You know she’s just joking with you, but you fake a pout and let out a whine.

“There, there, cutie.” Carmilla gives you a sympathetic look.

You stick your tongue out at her. “At least I have better taste than you.”

“Do you now?”

You know this banter would just go on for a bit if you continue with it, so you decide to change the topic. “So, why were you at the fair alone before?”

Carmilla doesn’t answer right away. “I like to come here after work sometimes. It’s like a getaway kind of. I used to come here with my sister a lot when I was little, and it’s always lingered with me since then. I don’t usually ride any rides, or play any games, but that one night was different.”

You nod your head and wait for her to continue.

“I’ll admit that I saw you standing in line for the ferris wheel, and I was pulled towards it. I can’t explain it. You looked sad and I wanted to help,” she clears her throat and avoids eye contact with you. “You really are a special girl, Laura. I would never in a million years do that for someone. But here I am.”

“Yeah you do seem like the broody, don’t-talk-to-me-or-I’ll-kill-you type of person,” you try to let it off lightly.

She’s still fidgeting in her seat and her hands are on the rail in front of her. The cart is near the top now. You feel the cart move up one more spot and it shakes more than usual so you go to grip the handrail but your hand lands on Carmilla’s.

Just great. You mentally curse yourself for being such a clutz.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” you quickly move your hand to the side.

“No worries, cupcake. It’s warmer that way, anyways.”

 _How smooth_ , you think as she slides her hand back over to yours and places it over top.

“But who will keep the stuffed bear warm?” You joke.

“Oh please, that bear has a fur coat.”

You chuckle at her and move your hand out from under hers to lace them together. Your brain doesn’t even register the action until after you’ve done it. Now you’re holding Carmilla’s hand and they’re resting on your thigh. You feel excited; it’s as if you’re in middle school again.

“Oh we’re on second base already, are we? I don’t think I’m ready for this kind of commitment, creampuff,” Carmilla slides herself closer to you and you can feel her body heat already starting to warm you up. Or maybe it’s just the butterflies in your stomach from this situation in general.

“It’s for warmth, that’s it.”

“Whatever you say.”

The cart moves up again and you’re at the top now. You tilt your head up at the sky to look at the stars.

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” You ask Carmilla, but you don’t take your eyes off of the sky for one second.

“It is,” you can see Carmilla turn her head towards you, “but I can think of something more beautiful.”

“Can you? What could possibly be more beautiful than those stars, and the constellations they all form? It’s beyond this world, literally.”

You feel yourself getting so lost in stargazing that you don’t notice how close Carmilla has leaned into you, and her head is resting on your shoulder.

You’re genuinely concerned; you can’t tell if she’s tired or what. “Are you okay, Carm?”

She lifts her head up at the sound of the nickname you just coined for her. “Yeah, I’m fine.” One corner of her mouth lifts up into a small smile. “Am I not allowed to bask in this moment? Your bickering girlfriend isn’t with us like last time, and I can finally spend time with you in this silence.”

You want to put your hands on her cheeks and pull her in and kiss her until you can’t breathe, consequences be damned. You can’t help it; she’s just so intoxicating.

Your eyes are wandering between her eyes and her lips, and you know she’s doing the same.

You can’t tell who leans in first, but you can tell that you’re both trying to take control when your lips meet.

You never believed it when you heard about the fireworks that people feel when they kiss someone they love. It always sounded too cliché to you. This, this right now, proves your suspicions wrong. You can feel those fireworks right now. This kiss means so much to you; you couldn’t get Carmilla out of your head since that night at the fair. You can feel these fireworks everywhere and you could feel them the moment your lips touched. You never want to stop.

You lift up your hands and put them on Carmilla’s cheeks and pull her in closer. Your bodies are flush against each other and the heat radiating from both of you is more than enough to keep you warm.

She kisses you harder, and runs her tongue along your bottom lip, asking for access. You immediately part your lips and your tongue clashes with hers. Her tongue is like velvet and you just can’t get enough.

She brings her hand up and runs it through your hair while her other hand clutches at your jacket as she tries to pull you closer to her.

She tastes like what you thought she would; like vanilla and chocolate. Maybe you’re just imagining things. Or maybe her lips are just magic, and you wouldn’t doubt it if they were.

You take your right hand off of her face and reach up to her hair to run your fingers through it, but the ferris wheel creaks and moans as it starts moving again. You’re quick to pull back from her, but Carmilla’s eyes stay closed and she doesn’t move.

“Fuck,” you hear her say under her breath as she slowly removes her hand from the tangles in your hair and opens her eyes.

“Sorry?” You cautiously say, unsure of how she’s feeling about what just happened.

“Don’t say that,” she looks into your eyes and holds a piercing stare. “I wanted that to happen just as much as you, if not more.”

You give her a look of pure awe. Did she really just say that? Are you in a dream right now? This can’t actually be happening, right?

“Don’t give me that look. I know you wanted that just as much as me, cupcake.”

“I-“you can’t even find the words. “I did. I _do._ I still want that, Carmilla.”

She gives you her signature smirk and leans back in to take your lips in between hers once again, but you stop her before she gets there.

“But not here. I feel like I wouldn’t be respecting what already happened here, you know, with Danny.” You’re sincere this time; you don’t want another one of your first kisses with Carmilla to be here, where you broke up with your girlfriend.

“But we just-“

“I know we just kissed, Carm, but I’d rather wait until we’re not being moved in a cart on a ferris wheel to kiss you.”

You hide your face in your scarf out of embarrassment, which you’ve noticed has become a habit around Carmilla. Carmilla takes notice of this, “You’re the one I was talking about before, and you know that right?”

You momentarily lift your head up from your scarf to answer her, “What?” You don’t know what she’s referring too.

“I mean, when I said I was sitting beside the most beautiful girl in the world, I was talking about you, not the bear.”

“I know, Carm.”

You smile at her and tuck your face back into your scarf. You curl into her side and snake your arm around hers.

You hear Carmilla sigh contentedly and she rests her head atop your head.

“I know you knew what I meant. I just wanted to say you were beautiful once more before this night is over.”

You can’t believe how lucky you are to be here with Carmilla, looking up at the night sky with her. She really is your escape route. An escape from Danny, from your life, from everything.

Here it’s just you and Carmilla, and you’re almost certain that you’re falling in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be the last chapter so thank you to everyone for the comments and kudos.
> 
> all mistakes are my fault, as I do not have a beta
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
> you can find me at lawsteins.tumblr.com


End file.
